That first night was rough; I was willing to accept the consequences. I had to leave with him, sneak away from home and all that I knew. Embrace change, a new life.
It was to happen on my birthday, I wouldn't say anything to Richard, and our day would end as normal. He would return to his business and new love. And I would join Bill for an introduction.
To a community that is small and apparently very select. I wore an outfit I loved and was completely breathless by the time he got to my front door.
Of course, this isn't new information I'm sharing with you. But I'm embarrassed to admit what I did in the time it took him to get to my house.
Richard and I ate dinner, his favourite food even though it was my birthday. But he didn't know and certainly didn't appreciate the meal I laid out.
I attempted to get his attention, I flirted with him and laughed brightly at every small crumb he threw my way. But for him it was procedure, he gave no more than he thought necessary to maintan the farce of marriage.
If he had given me more I might have stayed. And this idea kills me, the could-haves.