29 March 2016

Change is Coming

This life I led, and the things I've done to maintain it has left little time for a social life. Or a taste for being around other people. It wasn't all because the Man dictated secrecy.

My tasks that started out easy and simple were the most fun too. I felt light after each one as if I had done some small good for someone. And I chose to ignore that my employer was a drug peddler for the most part.

I never saw what a drug trade did to people, and my previous life was very far away from that sort of thing. I lived in suburbia and yes, the mothers all had a little something to help keep them going, but, it was polite, civilized drug abuse.

Messed up, but we understood that people did what was necessary to keep life running as normal. So, I didn't understand what the Man was doing.

And now, it is too late for me to change the past and alter the future.

22 March 2016

Looking Back

I've been told that I'm getting ahead of myself, and I should focus.

So, one of the questions put forth was why I didn't know about the Black Marketeers. A valid question, and easily explained. :)

After our re-birth into this new life, secrecy was drilled into us. That it was, in fact, the only thing that would keep us safe. Alive, if you will. Which, in hindsight, was weird rubbish.

So, like the good little immortal I was, I kept to myself. I didn't have regular suppliers for anything. I ordered online and used false details, and credit cards that banks were so happy to hand out.

I got most of my arsenal and armour through private sources, where there were no questions asked. And never from the same people.

Same went for furnishing my warehouse, pay people on time or in cash and no one wants to know more.

And, truth be told, I was so wrapped up in my misery that I didn't go looking for people and experiences.

I was kind of a sad creature before.

18 March 2016

Tricky Details

Yeah, you guessed it, it is a port.

I've spent many years a naive idiot doing the bidding of the Man. They have a very neatly controlled setup designed to not allow questions.

The careful spread of rumours and fearmongering assured that we stayed the course. Do as we're told and we receive our daily dose. A dose administered just as the pain gets really interesting.

And I get it; it makes sense to do things this way. If you are running an operation for a drug like Shi. But the thing that gets me is that if I have a port in the back of my neck was there ever another purpose for it?

And once again, what the hell was in the cocktail they injected into us? Even more now than ever before it worries me, was something in it to deal with the nanites?

Viv wants me to jack into her system and all will be revealed. But the idea of her being able to see into my head is also not all that appealing.

15 March 2016

How Love is Born

The pain lasted for a very long time. At the time and for many years later I assumed it was a lesson. And part of the pain felt is for the sake of teaching us younglings a lesson.

Stay in line, don't be late. Never, ever be late.

My new friend Viv has finally convinced me to have a look at the port in the back of my neck.
Being the wetware hacker that she is, she recognised something I never knew or could have known. I always thought that the site in the back of my neck but according to Viv that is not the case.

She deals with using human volunteers as wetware drives to make her "wetnet" faster. It involves having a port and neural lace installed. With the help of some handy dandy little nanites.

Guess what my injection site is?

11 March 2016

My true Love

What hasn't been clear to many is the method of dispersal. An injection at a particular point in the back of the neck. Check. How?

That my dear ones aren't so easily explained, even after all, this time, I only understand the barest hint of it. But I can share what I have gleaned.

That first night we were told to strip down, and don hospital robes. Most of us still thought we had modesty to protect, not understanding that even that would be stripped away.

We were lead out into a massive room lined with operating tables. One by one we ended up on a table, flat on our stomachs. I couldn't see the others but soon a stranger was at my table.

I didn't know what to expect, Bill was deliberately vague, but my head got pushed back down, and a needle jabbed into my neck.

The world exploded into a bloom of pain.

10 March 2016

Cover Reveal

Book 1 has had a Cover Revamp! I am so pleased with how this turned out, it is just beautiful.

07 March 2016

What we do at Night

Immortality has been good to me, for the most part. That first night things were made clear, one hundred years of service to the Man and in exchange I would get to live forever.

In principle it seemed easy, Bill had made it look easy. He claimed he had done it, made it through without a scratch even.

So I went into the gathering full of hope and perhaps even joy. I had shed the past so only had the future to look forward to. Yeah, I was a fool.

Also that I wasn't alone, I wasn't about to enter this endeavour by myself. There were others, quite a few more than there is now.  This is something I have never shared with a living soul.

That first night was horrendous, for all of us. Our hope was short lived, and to be replaced by pain. More than I've ever endured, nothing compares.

Now, I have spoken a lot about the pain and how they make us wait before we receive our daily dose. So I don't think I need to delve too deeply into that side of things here.

But, you need to understand that the pain on that first night was meant to thin out the herd. Only the strong was meant to survive, meant to move on and into immortality.

04 March 2016

Change Sucks

But Richard stayed true to form. Perhaps he was incapable of change, of seeing me for more than what I was at the time.

I have to believe that we were happy once, in love even. There had to be a time before life swept us up and tossed us around as its playthings.

But now for the life of me, I can't remember that time clearly anymore. Perhaps we both changed, I always believed - especially during the epic sulk - that it was all his fault.

I was blameless, nothing more than a victim of his infidelity.  It was easier to think that Richard was at the core of our problems. But, now I know my thinking is different.

He is to blame, as much as I was. It's only taken eighty plus year of shit to grow up enough to admit I was wrong.

I digress. After he had left to return to his new lady-love, I went into the backyard and lit the firepit.

According to Bill, I couldn't take anything with me, so I burned the remainder of my favourite things. I tossed in a few of Richard's favourite things too.

What can I say? I was in a bitchy mood.

01 March 2016

Change is Coming

That first night was rough; I was willing to accept the consequences. I had to leave with him, sneak away from home and all that I knew. Embrace change, a new life.

It was to happen on my birthday, I wouldn't say anything to Richard, and our day would end as normal. He would return to his business and new love. And I would join Bill for an introduction.

To a community that is small and apparently very select. I wore an outfit I loved and was completely breathless by the time he got to my front door.

 Of course, this isn't new information I'm sharing with you. But I'm embarrassed to admit what I did in the time it took him to get to my house.

Richard and I ate dinner, his favourite food even though it was my birthday. But he didn't know and certainly didn't appreciate the meal I laid out.

I attempted to get his attention, I flirted with him and laughed brightly at every small crumb he threw my way. But for him it was procedure, he gave no more than he thought necessary to maintan the farce of marriage.

If he had given me more I might have stayed. And this idea kills me, the could-haves.